As the day went on I realised it wasnt simply a case of Andy getting off his mark and not paying debt... he was off for heroin.

And that burst me.

For the first time, with nothing in me  to prompt it, emotionaly or chemically, the tears were literally streaming down my face and in fact I think I was actually bawling at one point in pure frustration at not 'sitting' on him on his pay day and allowing him to 'slip away'.

Should have known better.

So by 6pm I went hunting for him... I tried here, there, a bit of everywhere and ended up finding him.

Sure as sugar is sweet he had taken something. He has now been dragged back home with a pair of handcuffs (and im not joking) on order for each time he has money coming the next day. I'm gonna cuff the bugger to something.

But when I found out *where* he had got it from... ah well. Ive been looking to tear something apart for the last week or so as my strength and anger/emotion have returned to normal (not that im violent normally) and just found his source . Bloody Del (one of the 'friends' I cut out when this all started)

He asked Andy how long he was off meth and even after being told 3 weeks (today) he just sold him one, cooked it up and bang... gone.

Thats not a friend... thats someone who rubbed his grubby little hands together at the prospect of another 'regular' user/buyer. He even told him the shaws were dry so that he'd be back at him tomorrow.

So he got a phone call from me informing him im gonna burst him from earhole to arsehole. And I mean it.

He thinks he got a kicking a few years ago... I'm literally gonna hospatalise this little shite. How DARE he do that. When he found out Andy was three weeks clean he should have been saying "well, andy, hang on here... no". And I know my brother, he might (or may not and just gotten drunk) have found another source but the fact that there were no more questions, no more trying to talk him out of it... just out with the bag of goodies and fixed Andy up. Even Del's girlfriend said "wait a minute here" and tried to talk him out of it... and *still* Del (no, not dell, it 'smell ' from now on) sold and even did the 'cooking'.

So hes got it coming. I could bite one of my owne fingers off here in anger... so, enough of smell.

Its not all bad for us... Andy is, at the end of the day fighting a methadone habit,  this will set him back a few days but it wont send him back to the begining. He had phoned his counseller and was to go pick up a new/fresh methadone script tomorrow.

Well not now hes not.

And as for Del... his days are numbered... im gonna tear him apart for that.

A friend? Nah. Not on your life (or, quite literally Andys).