Was really strange. I dont think ive ever operated a computer without being under the influence of something or other (dont forget my love affair was always weed). Certainly since i was a child with an atari 2600/living memory kinda thing.

I actually thought id hammer out a bit more than I did today but what i did was good and i guess its like the pool last week. On Sat it was 12 lengths whilst two days later it was 34. Guess i expected too much from myself.

Still i got through what the boss and I set and thats a good thing.

Overall the craving hasnt been that bad... wee twinges. Was sitting on couch earlier takin a break when i closed my eyes and allowed/slipped into a mode that just 'imagined' the taste and effect of a wee smoke... i could almost see the tin foil. It passed pretty quickly though but gosh did i think about it. Pesky craving.

But working of course takes yer mind of that and hopefully/enevitably things will improve but i would put myself at only 30% of what i could have done... probabaly even less (might as well be generous to myself).

BTW i had a "Day 18" label which has now changed to 20. Why not 14 (with blip)?

Im not sure whether i mentioned this elsewhere in this blog as ive been in such a state in the early days i dont know what i did some days. However this detox started on 21 Apr when i cut my dosage from 2 bags a day to a half. I then took valium in the evening/night. On the 7th day, 28th, i cut it out altogether.

Given were now on 12th May thats been a total of a 21 day detox (20 was yesterday now).

In 14 days apart from that one incident on the 5th day (9 days ago now) no heroin or opiate of any description has entered my body.

And i still feel those 'twinges'... its not 'gone' yet.

But today i did some work and that felt great.

One last thing... apparently the gf of one my bro's pals thinks im 'cute'... i forgot all about girls (yup, im afraid it does that to you to... only lady H matters). So tonight i go to bed happy.... and drug free... this is a new feeling.

Not convinced yet though... thats the thing ya see... when youve been as stoned as i have for as long the thought of not having a wee something is nothing short of... apprehensive. By that i mean there was a reason i took drugs... i took em cos i bloody well liked to.

But as i have turkied and dried out i realise just what the hell all that was doing to me and my mind... because these sensations and feelings are new.

But I have a choice now and I didnt 3 weeks ago... and i choose to be drug free... and to stay that way.