Slept quite well last night... was working on a task just before bed and didnt quite make it... it was one of those "it works this way" but "not that way" but why? So a definate improvement so even tho i didnt complete what I was doing thats a definate improvement.

One thing thats came out of this and thats my mum.

When I went up to my aunties the other day (mum spends a lot of time (2-3 days a week) visiting her and she told me something.

A month ago my mum came in, sat down and they started talking. Then next thing my mum was in tears.

"What do i do Margaret?"... do i throw him out, help him, get him nito detox... how do i help him... she was in despair.

However the day before I was there mum had been and had came in and simply said I was doing well, Andy wasnt far behind then went on to somethng else entirely and started laughing.

What a joy to hear... the stress I put on her must have been so unfair so to have removed that is a silver lining indeed. In addition we made an agreement that when/if i gave up drugs she must stop the smoking.

I dont think she will be she *will* cut down... ill see to that... shes 64 now (65 in July) and you dont see many smokers in their late 70's.

I'd call that a silver lining over and above anything personal to myself... hurrah.