Ok folks... and dare I say it... friends... lets face facts here.

I am now on day 34 of my 'detox'.

I'm finding getting back into the swing of work hard... very hard... more so than I suspected. However the more I do the easier it gets so... that is taking care of itself (thanks to Simon especially for that one as he's allowed me the time needed to accomplish this).

I am still learning however to get through the day without the need for drugs but that emergency 'parachute' valium is available but have indeed had "dry" days so it can be (and will be) done again.

As I've already mentioned elsewhere in this diary/blog I learned my 'trade' stoned out of my head... but all that information/learning is still 'in there'... I'm just having to learn new ways to access it.

Been a stressful few days what with court appearances (was a shock after 10 years crime free even if it was only driving offences) and all the mess with my brother at the start of the week (and he looks and feels like I did a fortnight or so ago but I dont think hes that far behind me) so I've just taken a single valium but all I've taken is perhaps 3 or 4 in total since Sunday... so it looks like the drugs addiction is beaten and certainly the main one, the real 'biggie' of heroin is all but gone both mentally and physically on day 34 of a detox.

Giving up weed has just been a bonus from all this. I'll go tomorrow with nothing I think (hope).

Thomas is now a drug free adult (for all intents and purposes) for the first time and its staying that way. I'm not stupid, I'm still not 'there' quite yet, I know that. But I'm aware of it and can at least get through the day with no substances which makes me feel... fantastic.

Another interesting little fact I learned today and thats something known as the "sleeper affect".

It means that I could go two years and not feel the need for any heroin then something, a 'trigger', which could be stress even something that makes me feel happy, that could re-awaken the sleeper effect and the craving will hit.

I will not relapse... Ive found out theres a world out there beyond drugs and I've got a lot of exploring and finding things out to do.

So let that sleeper effect come... I'll be ready for it (awareness is half of it all said and done).

So thats it I think. I'll keep this blog going of course but not at the rate I have these last three weeks or so and instead refer you to "http://tamsbigfight.com" which will come alive over the next week or so.

Am outta here... g'nite.